What does the recipient think when a leader says, “I’d like to…I’m going to…I want to give you some constructive criticism?” The word “constructive” is usually not heard. While the words in response may be a pensive “o-kay,” the recipient is thinking: “here we go again” or “constructive – yeah right.”
If you are a leader who sincerely wants your criticism to be constructive, here are three steps to make it so:
1. Reformat your thinking.
No one likes to be criticized. Challenge your intention and ensure that it is a sincere desire to help the other person learn, grow, and improve.
2. Choose the right vocabulary.
The word “criticism” denotes something negative. On the other hand, “feedback” is information based on your observations and experience delivered with positive intention. Feedback can be positive recognition of something done well, or an opportunity for improvement. Good relationships -both business and personal – have a good ratio of positive feedback and growth, learning, and improvement-related feedback.
3. It’s never “just business.”
When dealing with people and relationships, it’s always personal. On the job, good feedback from a leader, colleague, or subordinate should be sincere, from the heart, and with positive intention. It should be focused on the good of the team, the business, and pertinent positive relationships. If you are the one giving feedback, double check yourself to ensure that it is about something that matters, not just your personal idiosyncrasy.
The rock guitarists of the late ‘60s known for feedback (Jimmie Page, Jimi Hendrix, Pete Townsend, and Jeff Beck) produced a sound that was music to some ears and awful noise to others.
For leaders and members of high performing teams, feedback is music that makes a big difference. I’m the Outsider and that’s what I think.
Image courtesy Stuart Richards, labelled for reuse